The Boston Strong benefit concert is going on tonight. Somehow I don’t think the band I’m about to write about is on the bill, despite being Bostonian to the core.
From the old blog, October 2007. Edited in one or two places to update time references:
My memories of long-gone local bands the other day made me reminisce of the fine old days when I knew Yoko Ono’s Ass.
OK, I never actually knew Yoko Ono’s Ass.
But I knew they existed, because I saw them mentioned in The Noise, a super-cool Boston rock’n’roll zine I used to pick up anytime I found it, back during my college days 20 years ago.
The Noise ran ads from some public-access cable TV show (I think it was in Somerville) that regularly gave air time to all manner of local bands that came crawling out of their basements for a shot at glory.
And, at least twice, the ads for the show included a tease — Lord, was a word ever righter? — for appearances by Yoko Ono’s Ass.
Stuck in my dorm in Boston, I never got to see the show.
We didn’t get cable in the dorms then, although New Hampshire Public Television came through with astonishing clarity.
Then, as quickly as it had arrived, Yoko Ono’s Ass disappeared.
I’ve always wondered whether the band broke up; whether they received some sort of legal estoppel from Ms. Ono; or whether they simply changed their name after learning the hard way that no one would pay money to see Yoko Ono’s Ass.
I also continue to wonder what they sounded like.
When your name is Yoko Ono’s Ass, what kind of noise comes out of your guitars?
Were they some kind of avant-noise outfit, like Teenage Jesus and the Jerks?
Were they a suit-and-tie-wearing pop band?
Or were they something worse?
Boston being the snarky college town that it is, you have to be careful:
Behind even the cutesiest and most offbeat name could lurk the most hideous of evils — a SKA BAND.
(If these people named a ska band Yoko Ono’s Ass, they should be made to wear nipple-pinching clothespins.)
The answer might well be out on the Net somewhere.
But damned if I’m gonna Google Yoko Ono’s Ass ….
I think I’d rather live with the mystery.
Someone left me the following comment on the original post about eight months after I wrote it:
“i knew yoko onos ass. they were from allston. all bezerklee students. derek, joe, brian, and tom. good band. they also had a goup called senor happy. and some a funny parody called sack if sh!t, that was out of connecticut. post for more details.”