Made up.

~ kblumenau

A former co-worker named Tom (he goes by @calmtomb on Twitter) has a running joke he calls #MadeUpClassicRockAlbums.

You can guess what it is — riffs on the oblique pretensions of ’70s and ’80s album titles — but Tom does it particularly well, with titles like An Edible Feast, Brother Osiris and the Journey of the Son, Admiral Nelson: A Rock Epic, The Three-Sided Triangle and Go See the Cowboy.

One of the joke’s permutations involves made-up Greatest Hits albums, in which he matches a mythical rock band with an album title suited to its name. Tom’s greatest hits include such efforts as:

Good For The Goose: The Best of Gander
Bitter Pill: The Best of Dr. Medicine
Backwards: All The Hits, 1981-1968
Order Up: The Best of Eddie Breakfast

(I love “Eddie Breakfast;” I can see him in my head, sort of an Eddie Money-ish blue-collar figure with ketchup stains on his jeans and a rasp at the edge of his voice.)

I’ve picked up the thread of this once or twice, but this morning’s tweet from Tom sent me to riffing full blast.

And so, with apologies to Tom for stealing his schtick, I present 11 greatest-hits albums you’ve never heard but should have:

  1. A Certain Fondness: The Best of Penchant
  2. Petits Fours: The Best of the French-Baker Band
  3. Blood in the Morning: The Best of Styptic Pencil
  4. Answers the Hard Way: The Best of Slide Rule
  5. Big Noise from Suburbia: Weedwhacker’s Greatest Hits
  6. Dredged Up: The Best of Shipping Channel
  7. Barre Chords: The Best of Bad Ballet
  8. Je Vous T’aime: The Best of Seventh Grade French
  9. Stay Back: The Best of the Fire Police
  10. Last Free Exit: The Best of Toll Collector
  11. Isn’t That the Whey: The Wensleydales’ Greatest Hits

Published by kblumenau