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whizzzzupthehill

Art Garfunkel will be back at some point.

I’m still lumbering out for a run every other night. And when I’m done, I still use MapMyRun.com to track how far I’ve gone, as I have done for at least five years now.

Each time I map and save a new running route, the site prompts me to give that route a name.

And each time, I cough something out of my subconscious, usually one word and all lowercase. Sometimes it’s a bit of lyric, sometimes it’s my mood at the time, sometimes it’s a phrase I’ve encountered in my reading, and sometimes it’s complete gibberish at random.

These names do nothing to help me identify which run covers what streets, or at what length. If I were intelligent I would figure out some way to make them do that.

Instead they just sort of hover in time … disembodied blurts from a tired mind, signifying nothing.

Here, then, after a leisurely review, are the best names I have given my saved running courses on MapMyRun. No prizes for guessing which were the good nights, and which were not:

ifailed
funkygibbon
boyitseemedlikealotlonger
whizzzzupthehill
illrunlongerwhenimoffcall
isleepwithmisterwilliams
unfaithfulservant
notreallywhereiran
viciouslyfuckingdepressed
boatsinthesky
prettygoodrunthis
mygodiranthehill
fucksgivenzero
afiendishlyconstructedoutandback
falseturnsallovertheplace
hangingwithbiancajaggeratstudio54
filetofist
iatetoofuckingmuchrice
truetotheirlimitations
themonstersaredue
owmyleftcalf
bloodcomingoutofmywhatever
eatinglikeafatpeeeeglately
dude
notverynice
foolifyouthinkitslonger
yourflowsoundsused
thatsonofabitchvanowen
poordears
everyrunidoisthreepointsixone
thiswasshortandthenmytoestartedhurting
aliveandwellandjoggingin
timelovesagyro
takepainsbeperfectadieu

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